The Role Other People And Mentors Play In Your Growth Journey

What kind of attitude do you have when it comes to learning from others? All people fall into one of the categories described by the following statements:

• No One Can Teach Me Anything—Arrogant Attitude

I think we sometimes assume that ignorance is the greatest enemy of teachability. However, that really has little to do with teachability. Haven’t you known some highly educated and highly successful people who do not want to hear the suggestions or opinions of anyone else? Some people think they know it all! A person who creates a large, successful organization may think he can’t learn from people who run a smaller one. A person who receives a doctorate can become unreceptive to instruction from anyone else because she is now considered an expert. Another person who is the most experienced in a company or department may not listen to the ideas of someone younger.

Such people don’t realize how much they are hurting themselves. The reality is that no one is too old, too smart, or too successful to learn something new. The only thing that can come between a person and the ability to learn and improve is a bad attitude.

• Someone Can Teach Me Everything—Naive Attitude

People who realize that they have room to grow often seek a mentor. That’s usually a good thing. However, it’s naive for individuals to think they can learn everything they need to know from just one person. People don’t need a mentor—they need many mentors. I’ve learned so much from so many people. 

• Everyone Can Teach Me Something—Teachable Attitude

The people who learn the most aren’t necessarily the ones who spend time with the smartest people. They are the ones with a teachable attitude. Every person has something to share—a lesson learned, an observation, a life experience. We just need to be willing to listen. In fact, often people teach us things when they don’t intend to do so. Ask any parents and you will find out that they learned things from their children—even when their kids were infants incapable of communicating a single word. The only time people can’t teach us things is when we are unwilling to learn.

I’m not saying that every person you meet will teach you something. All I’m saying is that people have the potential to do so—if you’ll let them.

HOW TO LEARN FROM OTHERS

If you have a teachable attitude—or you are willing to adopt one—you will be positioned well to learn from others. Then all you will need to do is take the following five steps:

• Make Learning Your Passion

Management expert Philip B. Crosby noted:

There is a theory of human behaviour that says people subconsciously retard their own intellectual growth. They come to rely on clichés and habits. Once they reach the age of their own personal comfort with the world, they stop learning and their mind runs on idle for the rest of their days. They may progress organizationally, they may be ambitious and eager, and they may even work night and day. But they learn no more.

That’s sometimes the problem with people who received the positions they dreamed of or reached the goals they set for their organizations or earned the degrees they strived for. In their minds, they have reached their destinations. They get comfortable.

If you desire to keep growing, you cannot sit back in a comfort zone. You need to make learning your goal. Do that and you will never run out of mental energy, and your motivation will be strong. And don’t worry about having people to teach you. Greek philosopher Plato said, “When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.”

• Value People

Years ago, when I was younger and inexperienced, I thought only older, more successful people could teach me anything. I placed very little value on other people. And that was a wrong attitude. Later in life, after I created and started pursuing my plan for personal growth, I came to realize that people don’t learn from people they don’t value. Now I have changed my thinking moving forward.

• Develop Relationships With Growth Potential

It’s true that everyone has something to teach us, but that doesn’t mean anyone can teach us everything we want to learn. We need to find people who are especially likely to help us grow—experts in our field, creative thinkers who will stretch us mentally, achievers who will inspire us to go to the next level. Learning is often the reward for spending time with remarkable people. Who they are and what they know rub off. As Donald Clifton and Paula Nelson, authors of Soar with Your Strengths observe, “Relationships help us define who we are and what we become.”

• Identify People’s Uniqueness And Strengths

Philosopher-poet Ralph Waldo Emerson remarked, “I have never met a man who was not my superior in some particular.” People grow best in their areas of strength—and can learn the most from another person’s area of strength. For that reason, you can’t be indiscriminate in choosing the people you seek out to teach you.

• Ask Questions

Anytime I’m exposed to something new I try to learn about it. And the best way to learn is to watch and ask questions.

Writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe believed that “one ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” I would add that one ought to also ask questions to learn something new each day. The person who asks the right questions learns the most.

CHOOSE A MENTOR TO HELP YOU GROW

You must have the right attitude toward others in order to grow. But if you really want to maximize your progress, you need to take another step. You need to find a mentor who can model what you want to learn and help you grow. At first it doesn’t have to be someone you know. Start by reading books, watching videos, and attending conferences. Read blogs (such as ushaurismart.com). Then start looking for someone who can help you go to the next level.

Give careful thought to the people you follow because they will impact the course of your life. I have developed six questions to ask myself before picking a model to follow. Perhaps they will help you when choosing a mentor.

• Does My Model’s Life Deserve A Following?

This question looks at credibility. It is possible to be the very first person to discover a leader worth following, but it doesn’t happen very often. If the person has no following, he or she may not be worth following.

If my answer to this question is no, I don’t have to bother with the other four. I need to look for another model.

• What Is The Main Strength That Influences Others To Follow My Model?

What does the model have to offer me? What is his best? Also note that strong leaders have weaknesses as well as strengths. I don’t want to inadvertently emulate the weaknesses.

• Does My Model Produce Other Leaders?

The answer to this question will tell me whether the model’s leadership priorities match mine in regard to developing new leaders.

• Is My Model’s Strength Reproducible In My Life?

If I can’t reproduce his strength in my life, his modelling will not benefit me. Find appropriate models . . . but strive for improvement. Don’t be too quick to say that a strength is not reproducible. Most are. Don’t limit your potential.

• If My Model’s Strength Is Reproducible In My Life, What Steps Must I Take To Develop And Demonstrate That Strength?

You must develop a plan of action. If you only answer the questions and never implement a plan to develop those strengths in yourself, you are only performing an intellectual exercise.

The models we choose may or may not be accessible to us in a personal way. Some may be national figures, such as the president. Or they may be people from history. They can certainly benefit you, but not the way a personal mentor can.

GUIDELINES FOR MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS

When you find someone who can personally mentor you, use these guidelines to help develop a positive mentoring relationship with that person:

• Clarify Your Level Of Expectations

Generally, the goal of mentoring is improvement, not perfection. Perhaps only a few people can be truly excellent—but all of us can become better.

• Accept A Subordinate, Learning Position

Don’t let ego get in the way of learning. Trying to impress the mentor with your knowledge or ability will set up a mental barrier between you. It will prevent you from receiving what he is giving. Be humble and patient.

• Respect The Mentor, But Don’t Idolize Him

Respect allows us to accept what the mentor is teaching. But making the mentor an idol removes the ability to be objective and critical—faculties we need for adapting a mentor’s knowledge and experience to ourselves. Learn from your mentor’s weaknesses as well as strengths.

• Immediately Put Into Effect What You Are Learning

In the best mentoring relationships, what is learned comes quickly into focus. As soon as you learn something new, put it into practice or teach it to someone else. You will assimilate it more quickly if you do.

• Be Disciplined In Relating To The Mentor

Arrange for ample and consistent time, select the subject matter in advance, and do your homework to make the sessions profitable.

• Reward Your Mentor With Your Own Progress

If you show appreciation but make no progress, the mentor experiences failure. Your progress is his highest reward. Strive for growth, then communicate your progress.

• Don’t Threaten To Give Up

Let your mentor know you have made a decision for progress and that you are a persistent person—a determined winner. Then he will know he is not wasting his time.

There is no substitute for your own personal growth. If you are not receiving and growing, you will not be able to give to the people you nurture and develop.

Thank you so much for visiting our blog and reading our articles. In the next article we shall show you where you should focus your time and energy to reach your potential. Let’s continue growing together.