The Virtue Of Patience: Don't expect Immediate Results
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. — NAPOLEON HILL
Patience Isn’t Your Virtue
Although we live in a fast-paced world, we can’t get everything we want instantly. Whether you’re hoping to improve your marriage or you want to start your own business, expecting immediate results can set you up to fail. Do any of the points below sound familiar?
- You don’t believe good things come to those who wait.
- You think of time as money and you don’t want to risk wasting a single second.
- Patience isn’t your strong suit.
- If you don’t see immediate results, you’re likely to presume what you’re doing isn’t working.
- You want things done now.
- You often look for shortcuts so you don’t have to expend as much effort and energy getting what you want.
- You feel frustrated when other people don’t seem to go at your pace.
- You give up when you aren’t seeing results fast enough.
- You have trouble sticking to your goals.
- You think everything should happen fast.
- You tend to underestimate how long it will take to reach your goals or accomplish something.
Successful and wealthy people recognize that a quick fix isn’t always the best solution. A willingness to develop realistic expectations and an understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight is necessary if you want to reach your full potential.
Why We Expect Immediate Results
We live in a fast-moving world of “no lines, no waiting.” We no longer have to send a letter and wait several days for it to arrive. Instead, we can use the internet to transmit information anywhere in the world within seconds. We don’t have to wait for commercials to end before resuming our favourite TV shows. Subscription video on-demand over-the-top streaming services like Netflix mean we can watch almost any movie we want in an instant. Microwaves and fast food mean we can get our food in a matter of minutes. And we can order almost anything we want online and have it delivered to our doors within twenty-four hours.
Not only does our fast-paced world discourage us from waiting, but there are always stories floating around about someone who has become an “overnight success.” You hear about a musician who gets discovered from a YouTube video or a reality star who becomes an instant celebrity. Or start-ups that make millions of dollars as soon as they get off them ground. These types of accounts fuel our desire to get immediate results from whatever we’re doing.
Despite the stories about people and businesses achieving immediate results, in reality, success is rarely instant. Twitter’s founder spent eight years creating mobile and social products before founding Twitter, now know as X. Apple’s first iPod took three years and four versions before sales really took off. Amazon wasn’t profitable for the first seven years. There is often folklore about these businesses that suggests they became overnight successes, but that’s because people are looking at the end result and not at all the work it took to get there.
So it’s no wonder we have come to expect immediate results in other areas of our lives. Whether we’re trying to rid ourselves of bad habits, like overeating or drinking too much, or we’re working toward goals like paying off debt or earning a college degree, we want it now. Here are some more reasons why we expect immediate results:
1. We lack patience
It’s evident in our everyday behaviour that we expect things to happen immediately. If we don’t get results, we give up. A study conducted by Ramesh Sitaraman, a computer science professor at UMass Amherst, found that when it comes to technology, our patience lasts two seconds. If within two seconds, an online video doesn’t load, people start leaving the website. Clearly, our patience is short and when we don’t get the results we want right away, it affects our behaviour.
2. We overestimate our abilities
Sometimes we tend to think that we’ll do so well at something that we’ll see results right away. Someone may incorrectly assume he’s likely to become the best performing salesperson at his company within his first month of employment or someone else may assume he can lose ten
kilogrammes in just two weeks. Overestimating your abilities can leave you feeling disappointed when you find that you’re not able to perform as well as you’d predicted.
3. We underestimate how long change takes
We’re so used to technology accomplishing things quickly, we incorrectly assume that change in all the areas of our lives can happen fast. We lose sight of the fact that personal change, business operations, and people don’t move nearly as fast as technology.
The Problem With Expecting Immediate
Unrealistic expectations about how easy it is to make changes and get fast results can set you up to fail. In a 1997 research study titled “End-of-Treatment Self-Efficacy: A Predicator of Abstinence,” researchers reported they found that patients who were overly confident about their
ability to abstain from alcohol when they’re discharged from a rehabilitation facility were more likely to relapse compared to patients who were less confident. Overconfidence may cause you to assume that you’ll reach your goal with ease, and then if you don’t get immediate results, you may struggle to stay on course.
Expecting immediate results can also cause you to prematurely abandon your efforts. If you aren’t seeing results right away, you may incorrectly assume your efforts aren’t working. A business owner who invests money in a new marketing campaign may assume his efforts didn’t work
because he doesn’t see an instant increase in sales. But perhaps his investment in advertising is increasing brand recognition that will lead to a steady increase in sales over the long term. Or maybe someone who goes to the gym for a month doesn’t see bigger muscles when he looks in the mirror, so he assumes his workouts aren’t effective. But, in reality, he’s slowly making progress that will take many months, not just weeks. And there’s research that suggests we’re giving up on our goals faster than ever before. A 1972 study called “Self-Initiated Attempts to Change
Behaviour: A Study of New Year’s Resolutions” found that 25 percent of the study’s participants abandoned their New Year’s resolutions after fifteen weeks. Fast-forward to 1989, and 25 percent of people were abandoning their resolutions after only one week.
Here are some other potential negative consequences that can occur when you expect to see immediate results:
1. You may be tempted to take shortcuts
If you’re not getting fast enough results, you may fall prey to hurrying things along in an unnatural manner. If a dieter isn’t getting the results she wants in a couple of weeks, she may go on a crash diet in an attempt to speed up the process. Athletes who want to get stronger and faster may take performance-enhancing drugs. Shortcuts can have dangerous consequences.
2. You won’t be prepared for the future
Wanting everything now will prevent you from looking at the long-term picture. The desire to get immediate results is evident in the way people view investments. People want to see a return on their investment now, not thirty years from now. The 2014 Retirement Confidence Survey found that 36 percent of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings or investments. Clearly, there are likely to be economic factors involved that prevent people from placing money into retirement, but our desire for instant gratification is also likely to play a role. People don’t want to set aside money in long-term investments because they want to enjoy their money today.
3. Unrealistic expectations can cause you to draw the wrong conclusions
If you expect immediate results, you may be tempted to assume you’ve seen enough to develop a conclusion, but in reality, you may not have given it enough time to get an accurate picture. A person who is unable to get a business off the ground in a year may decide he’s a complete failure in the business world because he didn’t make any money. But in reality, he just didn’t give his start-up enough time to turn it into a viable business venture.
4. It leads to negative and uncomfortable emotions
When your expectations aren’t met, you’re likely to become disappointed, impatient, and frustrated. When you experience increased negative emotions, your progress may be slowed and you may be tempted to give up altogether when you think you should be seeing a better outcome.
5. You may engage in behaviour that sabotages your goals
Unrealistic expectations may influence your behaviour and make it more difficult to achieve the results you want. If you expect a cake to be baked quickly, you may open the oven door to check it repeatedly. Each time you open the oven, you allow heat to escape, which ultimately means the cake will take even longer to bake. When you expect things to happen fast, your behaviour may interfere with your efforts before you even realize it.
Commit To The Long Haul
Self-improvement—like other changes in life—doesn’t happen immediately and you need to continue to devote time and energy to personal growth over the course of your life.
Create Realistic Expectations
You won’t pay off Ksh1,000,000 in debt on a Ksh50,000 income in six months. You can’t lose fifteen kilos in time for December holiday vacation if you wait until May to begin exercising. And you probably won’t climb the corporate ladder during your first year at the office. But if you have
these types of expectations, you may never reach your goals. Create realistic expectations that will keep you energized over the long haul. Here are some strategies to create realistic expectations about any goal:
1. Don’t underestimate how difficult change is
Accept that doing something different, striving to reach a goal, or giving up a bad habit will be hard.
2. Avoid placing a definite time limit on reaching your goal
It’s helpful to create an estimated time limit on when you should see results, but avoid creating a definitive timeline. For example, some people claim you can establish a good habit or break a bad habit in a certain number of days (the magic numbers seem to be either twenty-one or thirty-eight days depending on which study you read). But if you step back and think about that, clearly that’s not reality. It would only take me about two days to get used to eating ice cream for dessert every day and about six months to get out of the habit of having a cup of coffee with my breakfast. So don’t assign a timeline based on what you think “should be.” Instead, be flexible and understand that a lot of factors will influence when you will see results.
3. Don’t overestimate how much better the results will make your life
Sometimes people think, If I lose ten kilos, every aspect of my life will be much better. But when they begin losing weight, they don’t see the miraculous results they had imagined. They experience disappointment because they overestimated and exaggerated the outcome.
Recognize That Progress Isn’t Always Obvious
Progress toward your goal might not always be in a straight line. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. And other times, you might feel like you take two steps forward and one step back. If you can remember to look at your long-term goals, however, it will help you put setbacks into perspective. Before you set out to reach your goal—whether you want to start a new business or you want to learn meditation—consider how you’ll measure progress by asking
yourself the following questions:
- How will I know if what I’m doing is working?
- What is a realistic time frame to see initial results?
- What kind of results can I realistically expect to see within one week, one month, six months, and one year?
- How will I know that I’m staying on track toward my goal?
Practice Delaying Gratification
Delayed gratification is something that some people seem to be better at than others. But the truth is, everyone can fall prey to the lure of instant gratification. Immediate gratification is at the heart of many problems, including some major physical and mental health issues, financial problems, and addictions. While one person might not be able to resist a cookie that isn’t on her diet, someone else might not be able to put down the alcohol that causes so many problems in his life. Even people who are good at delaying gratification in some areas of their lives are likely to have weaknesses in others.
Forgoing instant gratification requires constant vigilance. Here are some strategies to help you delay gratification and prevent you from expecting immediate results:
1. Keep your eyes on the prize
Keep your end goal in mind to stay motivated on the days when you feel like giving up. Remind yourself of your goal in creative ways. Write down what you want to accomplish on a note and hang it on the wall or make it your computer screensaver. Visualize yourself meeting your goal each day and it will help you stay motivated.
2. Celebrate milestones along your journey
You don’t have to wait until you reach your goal before you celebrate your accomplishments. Instead, create short-term objectives and celebrate when you reach each milestone. Even something as small as going out to dinner with family can help you acknowledge your progress along the way.
3. Create a plan to resist temptation
There are always opportunities to give in to immediate gratification. If you’re trying to lose weight, there will be sweet treats to throw you off your diet. And if you’re trying to stick to a budget, nice clothes and luxuries will always be there to tempt you. Create a plan ahead of time that will help you steer clear of temptations that may throw you off course and prevent you from becoming successful.
4. Deal with feelings of frustration and impatience in a healthy manner
Some days you will feel like giving up, questioning whether you should continue. Just because you feel angry, disappointed, and frustrated doesn’t mean you should quit. Instead, find healthy ways to cope with those feelings and expect that they will be part of the process.
5. Pace yourself
No matter what you’re doing, you’ll be at risk for burnout if you expect immediate results. Pace yourself so you can be methodical in your attempts to move toward reaching your goals. Learning the value of a slow and steady pace can help you gain patience and ensure that you’re on the right track rather than rushing as fast as you can to get what you want.
Delaying Gratification Makes Us Successful
Reaching your full potential requires you to demonstrate willpower to resist short-term temptation. The ability to delay getting what you want now so you can get more later is instrumental to success. Here’s what the research says about the benefits of delayed gratification:
- Self-discipline is more important than IQ when it comes to predicting academic success.
- College students’ self-control scores correlate with higher self-esteem, higher grade point
averages, less binge eating and alcohol abuse, and better interpersonal skills. - The ability to delay gratification is associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety.
- Children with high self-control have fewer mental and physical health problems, fewer
substance-abuse problems, fewer criminal convictions, and greater financial security as
adults.
Whether your goal is to save enough money to go on vacation next year or you’re devoted to raising children who will become responsible adults, establish realistic expectations for yourself and don’t expect to see results tomorrow. Instead, be willing to commit to the long haul and you’ll increase the chances that you’ll be able to reach your goals.
Troubleshooting And Common Traps
It’s likely that you have some areas of your life where it’s easy to create realistic expectations. Perhaps you’re willing to go back to college with the understanding it will take years before you’re able to graduate and earn more money. Or maybe you’re willing to invest money into your retirement account with the understanding that you’ll allow it to grow for thirty years. But there are also likely to be areas of your life where you want things to happen immediately. Maybe you don’t want to wait for your marriage to get better or you don’t want to give up the foods you love, despite warnings from the doctor. Look for those areas in your life where you can improve and focus on finding strategies to help you develop the skills you need to make slow but steady progress.
What’s Helpful
1. Creating realistic expectations about how long it will take to reach your goal and how difficult it will be.
2. Finding accurate ways to measure your progress.
3. Celebrating milestones along your journey.
4. Coping with negative feelings in healthy ways.
5. Developing a plan to help you resist temptation.
6. Pacing yourself for the long haul.
What’s Not Helpful
1. Expecting that you’ll see instant results.
2. Assuming that if things don’t get better right away, you’re not making progress.
3. Waiting until you get to the end of your journey to celebrate.
4. Allowing your frustration and impatience to affect your behaviour.
5. Predicting that you have enough willpower to resist all forms of temptation.
6. Looking for shortcuts so you can avoid the work necessary to reach your goal.